ISSUES
: Body Confidence
Chapter 2: Self-esteem
35
other positive things you know to be
true about yourself, such as “I am
thoughtful” or “I am a great cook”
or “I am someone that others trust”.
Also write down good things that
other people say about you.
Aim to have at least five things on
your list and add to it regularly. Then
put your list somewhere you can see
it. That way, you can keep reminding
yourself that you are OK.
“It’s about helping people recognise
they have strengths as well as
weaknesses, like everyone else, and
begin to recognise those strengths
in themselves,” says Professor
Williams.
“You might have low confidence now
because of what happened when
you were growing up,” he says. “But
we can grow and develop new ways
of seeing ourselves at any age.”
Other ways to improve low
self-esteem
Here are some other simple
techniques that may help you feel
better about yourself.
Recognise what you are good at
We are all good at something,
whether it’s cooking, singing,
doing puzzles or being a friend. We
also tend to enjoy doing the things
we are good at, which can help to
boost your mood.
Build positive relationships
If you find certain people tend
to bring you down, try to spend
less time with them, or tell them
how you feel about their words
or actions. Seek out relationships
with people who are positive and
who appreciate you.
Be kind to yourself
Professor Williams advises: “Be
compassionate to yourself. That
meansbeinggentle toyourself at times
when you feel like being self-critical.
Think what you’d say to encourage a
friend in a similar situation. We often
give far better advice to others than
we do to ourselves.”
Learn to be assertive
Being assertive is about respecting
other people’s opinions and needs,
and expecting the same from them.
One trick is to look at other people
who act assertively and copy what
they do. “It’s not about pretending
you’re someone you’re not,” says
Professor Williams. “It’s picking
up hints and tips from people
you admire and letting the real
you come out. There’s no point
suddenly saying, ‘I’m going to be
Chris Hoy’, but you might be able
to get your bike out and do a bit of
cycling for the first time in ages.”
Start saying ‘no’
People with low self-esteem often
feel they have to say yes to other
people, even when they don’t
really want to. The risk is that you
become overburdened, resentful,
angry and depressed.
“For themost part, saying no doesn’t
upset relationships,” says Professor
Williams. “It can be helpful to take a
scratched-record approach. Keep
saying no in different ways until
they get the message.”
Give yourself a challenge
We all feel nervous or afraid to do
things at times. People with healthy
self-esteem don’t let these feelings
stop them from trying new things
or taking on challenges.
Set yourself a goal, such as joining
an exercise class or going to a social
occasion. Achieving your goals will
help to increase your self-esteem.
Where to find help for low
self-esteem
You may feel you need some help
to start seeing yourself in a more
positive light. Talking therapies,
such as counselling or cognitive
behavioural therapy, can help. Your
GP can explain the different types
and tell you what’s available in your
area.
Read more about the
different types of therapy
You can also refer yourself for
counselling or therapy. Use the NHS
ChoicesServicesDirectoryor visit the
British Association for Counselling
& Psychotherapy website to find a
registered counsellor and therapist
near you.
24 September 2014
Ö
The above information is
reprinted with kind permission
from NHS Choices. Please
visit
for further
information.
© NHS Choices 2016
