7
ISSUES: Marriage
Chapter 1: Marriage
Why have a church wedding if you
haven’t a shred of Christian belief?
A
wedding invitation made me sigh this week –
because the wedding’s taking place in church.
Yes, of course for many believers it’s the only place
and the perfect place. Others, while not churchgoers, want
to make the most important promise of their lives in an
important and sacred place, I can see that.
But the rest? Why?
I love a wedding – all that optimism – and I’m lucky over
the years to have been to some amazing church weddings,
some humble, some incredibly posh but all very special, so
that it’s been a privilege to be part of them.
Such as my cousin’s wedding that was half in English, half
in Welsh and we nearly raised the rafters of the tiny church
when we sang Calon Lan at full pelt before piling out to the
pub across the road.
Or the wedding of two old friends, both widowed, marrying
in their sixties. There were no hymns and just a handful of
us there and it was incredibly moving.
I’ve also been to a few that have been downright
uncomfortable.
Clue: church weddings include prayers and generally,
hymns. For a lot of people that’s a foreign country.
Now most schools no longer have a hymn-singing, praying
daily assembly, people don’t know the drill. They don’t
know what to do. At best, they feel uncomfortable, at
worst they make everyone else feel that way too.
The organist playing doggedly a virtual solo through three
verses of All Things Bright and Beautiful or Morning Has
Broken is bad enough, while a handful of us try to sing
and the rest of the congregation shuffles and coughs and
wonders how soon it will be over.
Sometimes the congregation seem to be there to be
entertained and consider the vicar as some sort of compere,
presiding over a glorified game show where everyone has
to have a good laugh.
The worst was a wedding where, when the vicar asked the
bride “Will you take William to be your husband? Will you
love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, forsaking
all others…”
The bride giggled and replied “Oooh, can I think about
that one?” and turned to the laughing congregation for
applause.
The priest sighed and smiled through gritted teeth.
The church wants to welcome us
all, of course. Anyway, I suppose
weddings are a business and the
church is in business just like
anyone else and they’re not going
to turn folk away.
Churches are beautiful, impressive
buildings, but if you haven’t a shred
of Christian belief, there are plenty
of other equally beautiful buildings
where you can get married.
Anyway, we shall go to thiswedding
with good heart and good voice –
and just hope we won’t be the only
people singing…
23 January 2017
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The above information is
reprinted with kind permission
from the
Eastern Daily Press
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