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ISSUES: Marriage
Chapter 2: Divorce
2.87million people across UK in distressed
relationships
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2.87millionpeople(18%ofmarriedor
cohabiting couples) are in distressed
relationships*
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This includes over 1.4 million
families** at breaking point across
the UK
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Parents of under-16s are more likely
tobe indistressed relationships (22%)
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Today, the charity Relate launches its
first appeal to help address negative
impacts of family breakdown and
poor quality relationships
A
staggering 2.87 million people
across the UK are living in
relationships which would be
described within clinical practice as
distressed, according a new study by
Relate, the UK’s leading relationships
charity. This equates to 18% of married
or cohabiting couples and 1.4 million
UK families.
The charity is concerned that these
poor quality relationships are having a
detrimental impact on people’s physical
and mental health with many struggling
to access the support they need and
reaching breaking point. The figures
are released as Relate launches its first
national appeal, Breaking Point, calling for
donations to help subsidise vital services
to support families whose relationships
and finances are under intense pressure.
The statistics are taken from Relate’s
report,
RelationshipDistressMonitor
, which
is published today (Wednesday 25 May)
and is based on new analysis of data from
the UK household longitudinal study,
Understanding Society. The research,
which had a sample size of 20,980, looked
at key questions from a validated scale
to measure relationship quality. These
included how often couples argued, how
frequently they considered separation or
divorce, the extent of unhappiness in their
relationshipandhowoften they regretted
being in their relationship.
The research also found that:
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9% of partners report at least
occasionally*** considering divorce
or separation
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10% of partners report at least
occasionally
regretting
getting
married or living together
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49% of partners report at least
occasionally quarrelling – and 6.8%
report severe levels
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Parents of under-16s are more likely
to be in distressed relationships –
22%.
A distressed relationship is one with a
severe level of relationship problems,
which has a clinically significant negative
impact on partner’s well being. Relate
counsellor, Arabella Russell, said:
“Throughmywork I see countless couples
in distressed relationships. Often the
couples I see are arguing constantly
with pressures such as jobs, finances
and childcare putting their relationships
under real strain. It’s a very painful place
to be and the impact it can have on the
family is huge.”
Surbiton mother of four, Julia Darbyshire,
47, attended Relate with her husband,
Andy, 47, when their relationship reached
breaking point. Julia said:
“We went to Relate when the pressures of
work and childcare started to impact on
our relationship. We were arguing a lot
and our eldest son was noticing that we
were at loggerheads. We had hit a real
rocky patch but with the support of our
counsellor, we were able to turn things
around.
“Speaking to somebody objective
was really helpful. Since attending the
counselling sessions, things have really
improved and we’ve gone on to have
another two children together. We now
feel we communicate more effectively
andhave the toolsweneed toaddress any
issues that come up. I’d urge anyone to
donate to Relate – I think it’s so important
that everyone can access support for
their relationships, not just those who
can afford it. Unhappy relationships can
have a terrible effect on couples and their
children but it doesn’t have to be that
way.”
Relationship breakdown currently costs
the UK economy £48billion a year. Relate
highlights that as well as the economic
cost, there is also a profound social and
human cost of poor-quality relationships.
Chris Sherwood, Chief Executive at Relate
said:
“It is hugely concerning that 18% of UK
married and cohabiting couples are in
distressed relationships. Broken and
unhealthy relationships can lead to debt,
loneliness, health problems, depression,
homelessness, criminality and can have a
profound effect on children’s life chances.
“Families can’t go on like this. We need
to make sure that Relate’s services are
available to everyone, not just those
who can afford them, but we can’t do so
unless we get donations to subsidise the
cost. That is why we are launching our
Breaking Point appeal today, calling on
people to donate to us to help families
find the answer that’s right for them, as
withRelate’s support a breakingpoint can
become a turning point.”
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To donate to Relate, please www.
relate.org.uk/donate
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Read the report, Relationship
Distress Monitor, (from Weds 25th
May):
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View the Breaking Point appeal
video:
watch?v=IHY-kh6c04c
* Levels of relationship distress were estimated by
analysing data from the Understanding Society
survey. Themost recent data were released November
2015, and the data were analysed over March-April
2016. The sample of people in relationships (married
or cohabiting) was 20,980. Relationships were
characterised as ‘distressed’ or ‘non-distressed’ by
calculating respondents’ answers to questions from a
scientifically validated scale to measure relationship
quality and the severity of relationship problems. For
further information on the methodology, please see
the research report.
** We follow the ONS definition of ‘families’ in the
Families and Households statistical bulletins: ‘A family
is a married, civil partnered or cohabiting couple with
or without children, or a lone parent with at least one
child.’
*** ‘Atleastoccasionally’includesthosewhoanswered
‘occasionally’, ‘more often than not’, ‘most of the time’
and ‘all of the time’.
25May 2016
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The above information is reprinted
with kind permission from Relate.
Please visit
for
further information.
©Relate 2017
