General Article “Why aren’t you pregnant yet?” – the questions infertile women dread

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Many young women receive intrusive questions and remarks about when they might get pregnant. Laura Cooke describes how that feels for women who can’t have the families they would like.

By Laura Cooke

I’m sitting in a car with a male colleague, heading back from a meeting. I don’t know him that well but we’re having a pleasant conversation about life and love, filling in the blanks about the other’s background. Talk turns to my recent wedding. And then he hits me with this question: “Are you going to have kids?”

I consider giving him a non­committal “not yet” or “maybe”. But instead I decide to tell him the truth – ­ that I am infertile. I had both my fallopian tubes and ovaries removed at the age of 30. As my ovaries were turning gangrenous, I had little choice in the matter.

He is slightly taken aback by my answer but we discuss it further. He says he admires my honesty a

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